40 Witty and Memorable Quotes From Managers & CEOs Around the World

Editor’s note: This piece was previously published at NairaBrains.

Managing isn’t always an easy job whether it be a football team, a small expanding business or a large non profit organisation. You are faced with a myriad of issues that may determine your success as a manager. As the manager of a soccer team you may be faced with challenges of getting your team motivated, managing injuries and dealing with talented but extremely stubborn players. As a business owner and manager your greatest challenge may be raising needed funding for your business or getting the needed buying audience through your doors.

Here are 50 funny, catchy and sometimes outright crazy quotes from managers around the world (some famous, others not) on the various challenges faced by these group of people who are entrusted with managing people and resources to produce results.

We have not listed these quotes in any order.

1. ‘I’ve been at Port Vale for 16 years. Even the Great Train Robbers didn’t get that long a sentence. Here you are manager, coach, chief scout, chief cook and bottle washer, but I’ve loved every minute of it.’
John Rudge (Manager, Port Vale)

2. ‘I’m out at the moment, but should you be the chairman of Barcelona, AC Milan or Real Madrid, I’ll get straight back to you. The rest can wait.’
Joe Kinnear, Wimbledon Coach (the message on his answer phone)

3. ‘When a management team with a reputation for brilliance tackles a business with a reputation for bad economics, it is the reputation of the business that remains intact.’
Warren Buffet, Billionaire and World’s richest investor

4. ‘Fit no stereotypes. Don’t chase the latest management fads. The situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team’s mission.’
Colin Powell

5. “The speed of the leader determines the speed of the gang.”
Mary Kay Ash, beauty product entrepreneur

6. “Sometimes, I think my most important job as a CEO is to listen for bad news. If you don’t act on it, your people will eventually stop bringing bad news to your attention and that is the beginning of the end.”
Bill Gates, former world richest and Microsoft founder

7. “Management means, in the last analysis, the substitution of thought for brawn and muscle, of knowledge for folklore and superstition, and of cooperation for force. . .”
Peter F. Drucker, renowned management professional

8. “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
Winston Churchill

9. ‘I was on a drip in a hospital bed and this player came in to see me. I thought he was was enquiring about my health. He never even asked how I was. All he was interested in was how he stood regarding the contract. He’d even bought his agent in.’
John McClelland, Manager of St Johnstone

10. ‘There’s only two types of manager. Those who’ve been sacked and those who will be sacked in then future.’
Howard Wilkinson, Leeds United Manager

11. “Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?”
Steve Jobs, late Apple CEO

12. “If you see a snake, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes.”
Henry Ross Perot, one time US Billionaire and presidential aspirant

13. “Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.”
Andrew Young

14. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
Robert Frost

15. “If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.”
Benjamin Franklin

16. “There’s no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can’t do any business from there.”
Colonel Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken

17. “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, i can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
Michael J. Fox

18. “If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.”
Malcolm S. Forbes

19. “We don’t have a monopoly. We have market share. There’s a difference.”
Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft

20. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde

21. “Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest.”
Goldstein S. Truism

22. “If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.”
J. Paul Getty

23. “Giving people self confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do because then they will act.”
Jack Welch, former Ford Motors CEO

24. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
Napoleon Bonaparte

25. “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.”
Steve Jobs, Apple founder and former CEO

26. “Courteous treatment will make a customer a walking advertisement.”
J.C. Penny

27. “There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.”
Sam Walton, Walmart

28. “You put together the best team that you can with the players you’ve got, and replace those who aren’t good enough.”
Robert Crandall, American Airlines

29. “When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough.”
Donald Trump

30. “A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others.”
Confucius

31. “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine.”
Barry Goldwater

32. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Bob Hope

33. “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘check enclosed’”
Dorothy Parker

34. “Advertising is legalized lying.”
H. G. Wells

35. “We were hoping to build a small profitable company; and of course, what we’ve done is build a large, unprofitable company.”
Jeff Bezos (1964-) U.S. Businessman

36. “You don’t want another Enron? Here’s your law: If a company, can’t explain, in ONE SENTENCE….what it does….it’s illegal. ”
Lewis Black

37. “The first thing a new employee should do on the job is learn to recognize his boss’ voice on the phone. ”
Martin Buxbaum

38.”I don’t want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.”
Samuel Goldwyn

39. “Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”
Stephen Butler Leacock

40. “My son is now an “entrepreneur.” That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.”
Ted Turner, CNN founder

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